Holly Madison considered suicide during ‘nightmare’ life in Playboy Mansion: memoir “Heeeef ... ” Madison recalled one of the mansion vets screeching during her first visit.Madison and another woman, Candice, were the newbie victims — and it didn’t last long.The days when Jack Nicholson routinely ordered takeout from the mansion kitchen and stars like Leo Di Caprio circulated through infamous parties were past.
Still, they routinely broke house rules by smoking meth in the bedrooms and snorting cocaine when Hefner’s head was turned.
“I think the ‘growing up’ question struck a nerve even deeper than I cared to admit,” she wrote.
“Frankly speaking, I’ve always been pretty uncomfortable with Hef’s fascination with extremely young women.
reality series “The Girls Next Door,” says she convinced herself that she had found true love with the man old enough to be her great-grandfather.
Hefner, then approaching 80, even committed to having children with her.