of time worrying about being more attractive to women.
Men tend to feel as though they’re at a disadvantage when it comes to dating and consistently look for the magic bullet that will maximize their efforts.
It’s known as the Reward Theory of Attraction – we are attracted to people whose presence or behavior makes us feel appreciated and liked.
When the feeling of pleasure at a person’s involvement in our lives outweighs the costs (someone who’s fun to hang around with but who causes problems through his behavior, for example) then we tend to be drawn towards that relationship over others.
This is part of why a sense of humor ranks so highly in every poll about what makes men attractive.
Some were blessed with every advantage – classic good looks, money and charm – while others had to work for their success.
They weren’t “high-status males” with impressive jobs or flashy cars and fancy clothes.
They didn’t have useful contacts for the social climbers or the money for those supposedly hypergamous women looking for the next level. who still managed to date sexy, intelligent, ambitious women. Being fun, being able to help someone enjoy themselves transcended looks and status.
Fun people are interesting – they tend to have diverse interests that they enjoy and have stories to share.
This isn’t to say that it’s just a matter of telling a few jokes until you manage to laugh them into bed. Once I understood the appeal of fun, I began to recognize how it formed the underpinnings of everything I’d learned up to that point – and how much I had seen it in action over the years.