In the Get The Guy book Matt and I used the term ‘Perceived Value’ which might be a better way to think of Respect in this context. It can be: These are just a few things that will cross a guy’s mind when he thinks about a relationship, and if he doesn’t imagine them happening then he’ll place a girl in the Friends-With-Benefits Zone.
It’s the place where he likes the girl, he’s attracted, but he doesn’t feel enough Connection and Respect (i.e.
I’m not saying that you can’t be friends, or have casual sex with a guy if you want to.
A woman only counts as being in The Maybe Zone is she is in one of these scenarios but also secretly, or explicitly, wants a relationship with the guy in question.
” Within The Maybe Zone there are typically two big traps.
There is the Friend Trap (commonly also dubbed ‘The Friend Zone’), and there is the Friends-With-Benefits Trap (sometimes called the ‘F-buddy’ Zone).
Moreover, you have to watch out for those guys who actually enjoy the validation of the Friend Trap and stay there on purpose, enjoying your attention but never really making their move.
Likewise, with the Friends Trap, just because he’s not into you physically doesn’t make him a jerk.
Let’s explain both of these traps individually and why different kinds of women fall into them. It’s typically seen as something that afflicts men more commonly, but it happens to women as well.
The Friend Trap is when you like a guy, you both get along like best buddies, except…that’s it. It’s like one endless tease, where you think something could possibly-maybe-just happen one day, but every time you get close to him he pulls away and decides not to. That’s possible, but even incompetent shy guys take the hint eventually and can manage to guide their lips toward yours!
It’s like being on a perpetual first date that’s going really well but the guy never goes in for the kiss, (even though he would totally score if he did! You can tell he loves being around you and hanging out, hell, he may even hug you now and then like a boyfriend, but he never initiates anything more physical. What’s more likely is that he loves being around you, and probably does even love your personality to some degree, but he has no sexual attraction. A lot of guys wish they felt sexual attraction for women they were great buddies with, because that would be the ideal scenario!
Imagine the following simple formula for attraction: Real Attraction = Sexual Chemistry Connection Respect The guy can have all the Connection and Respect in the world for you, but without Sexual Chemistry, he’s not going to be able to feel true attraction for you. But neither he, nor you, nor anyone else can force sexual chemistry if he doesn’t feel it.