Many clients have told me they'd love to be in a relationship if there were a guarantee they wouldn't get hurt.
But opening your heart to someone is a risk – and it's the risk you have to take if you want to be in a relationship." There's absolutely no doubt that the prospect of new sexual relationships is going to bring emotional issues related to your break-up to the forefront.
It's a way of remaining in the safe, secure sexual environment we know and delaying the inevitable plunge into the unknown singles market.
Therapists, however, are quick to point out that it "ain't over 'till it's over." In other words, while sex with your ex can provide a wonderful release, you need to let go sexually in order to fully heal, grow, and move on to a new life.
And in order to begin that process, you need to examine the dynamics of the partnership that's ended and identify a starting point uniquely your own.
We're not only dealing with a painful recovery process, but we're also wondering if we'll ever have a satisfying relationship – or whether we'll be able to love or be loved – again.
Feelings of abandonment or rejection can manifest themselves in a number of ways.
You could experience some sexual inhibitions and feel fearful of sexual contact, since rejection can have a debilitating effect on your sense of inner self and body image.
Soon-to-be-married Marie and Jess have each just gotten off the phone from consoling their single friends, Harry and Sally, who are suffering the tremors of emotional uncertainty brought on by the aftermath of their first sexual encounter together.
Afterward, Marie turns to Jess and pleads: "Please tell me I will never have to be out there again! We were familiar with our partner's moves, and we knew what was expected of us. And our needs were – to varying extents, depending on the partnership – being met.