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Men post pictures of themselves wearing button downs (not muscle tees) or hugging their moms (not endangered species.) And because they can’t message first, guys can’t hedge their bets by swiping right on every girl they see and messaging all of them to see who bites.Female users say they’ve been impressed with the guys on Bumble.In essence, the app is an attempt to answer her train of questions above.It works just like other dating apps—users see pictures of other users, swipe right if they like what they see, and get matched if the interest is mutual.“It’s easier as a guy, you’re swiping and then just letting the girls take the next step.” Plus, he adds, “the women are so impressive.” Wolfe pulls out her cell phone, which is hot pink with a bright yellow bumble-bee decal on the back, and shows me a guy she matched with in Costa Rica, of all places.

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Still, Wolfe insists she’s not trying to beat Tinder at its own game.But there’s one essential difference: on Bumble, only women can send a message first.For Wolfe, 25, that key difference is about “changing the landscape” of online dating by putting women in control of the experience.And while the whole messy incident has been held up to illustrate the challenges women face in a notoriously bro-friendly tech culture, Wolfe stops short of calling out sexism in tech.“This isn’t necessarily a tech problem, this is a society problem,” she says.