It was later that we discovered there was a term for what we were.If we need a term, we consider ourselves “poly-fidelitous,” which is what poly’s call those who love more than one person in a long-term, faithful kind of way.The kind of town where a gay kid will probably commit suicide one of these days.There is a conservative church on almost every corner, and the few people who have been brave enough to be openly gay have experienced a lot of trouble.We laughingly still can’t believe we had the guts to even try this in the first place! If we didn’t think the two families had the ability to blend well together, we never would have done it in the first place, because we feel very strongly about our kids and want the best for them. We were excited that we all loved each other, but it was easy to feel insecure. ” If he saw us being affectionate, he might worry, “Oh, no! They are going to hit it off and decide they don’t need me!If I saw them being super affectionate, I might worry, “Oh, no! ”That was what we would worry about, but it wasn’t ever actually true, as we would discover when we would share our fears with each other.
It’s just that we fell in love with two, pretty much all at the same time . and we discovered (through lots of open and honest communication!
There were numerous points where we would look at each other and say, “It’s so weird, but if I was still a fundamentalist Christian, I would say that God is blessing us…”We took very small and careful steps forward, hesitantly, every inch of the way being shocked at how nice, how perfect, how healthy, how “just right” it always felt. Fun, in that it was a new relationship, so it was exciting, but totally exhausting.
Our fears about each next step were always replaced by fearfully taking it and then finding it delightful. The minute we bought our big house together, we all breathed a collective sigh of relief. That takes time, but we parent in very similar ways, and the children and teens already were very close, so it all meshed together well, too. ” If she saw us being affectionate, she might say, “Oh, no!
We have differed a little bit on this, as I mentioned, and I am the one who is the most hesitant about coming out.
My two lovers have been really kind about respecting my fears about the children and agree to keep it private for now, but we all look forward for the day when we can just be open.