The uncertainty of dating highlights for us the immanent possibility of blessing and tragedy.
That tension was not meant to be immediately resolved.
The answer is very clear: There are a lot of chips on the table and with blind odds.
The risk in dating is never higher than when sharing intimate, vulnerable, breakable pieces of ourselves — in appropriate ways and at appropriate time — without any certainty this will lead to marriage.
There is only one honest thing to say when the weight of dating uncertainty weighs heavy: “We don’t know.” We must confess that, to the experience of besetting and anxious uncertainty in dating, there isn’t an answer or at least not a concrete and immediate answer.
Maybe the whole point of dating — and the fact that Scripture says so little about it — is that we don’t know what we’re doing, we can’t do it well (alone), and it isn’t sustainable.
Indulging in anxiety in a dating relationship is like indulging in back-seat driving: It only makes everyone else more nervous and annoyed and doesn’t actually contribute anything positive.
Yet, the experience is legitimate and real, and so is the fear. To know how Jesus Christ is relevant to our situation in dating, we must first of all come to terms with the often avoided, but very obvious reality, that we are not safe in a relationship.
The risks are higher, the vulnerability deeper, and the losses greater.Jesus Christ knows the anxious heart of the uncertain dating Christian (Proverbs 21:1).And he does not judge: “He will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms; he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young” (Isaiah ).We’re betting a portion of our heart, without knowing how they will respond. More than that, when sinful people are put in a place of danger, they’re more prone to play God.We are most prone to try and seize control of the situation — of hearts, of circumstances, or of emotions, all in self-defensive ways that are tragically self-defeating. In self-perpetuating irony, magnifying all of the uncertainty and anxiety, we just end up multiplying our own pain and destroying the relationship.