I’m not someone who says if there’s no sex it’s not a functional or happy relationship. Over the Trump administration, a lot of horrible things have been done — but a lot of horrible things they wanted to do were blocked because people spoke up, because people called their congressman, went to town hall meetings, went into the streets and protested, and donated money. If there’s no sex and one person is miserable because of that or both are miserable because of that, then there’s a problem. BL: Speaking of celebrating, how do you celebrate Pride Month? Terry and I will sometimes go to a parade, but we’re not big parade-goers…I just can’t listen to 16 floats go by with the same dance music, it literally gives me a migraine. Do the things you can do — the job of activists is to draw attention to what I call the “doable thing” — something you can accomplish. Before you could just kind of, move…haha…if you lost a phone number, you could never get that phone number again potentially.
DS: Everyone should try that thing they’ve always wanted to try.
We here at Ok Cupid have an ongoing love affair with Dan Savage, the well-known voice behind Savage Love whose resume includes author, journalist, and — most importantly — activist for the LGBTQ community.
Many of us are listeners of his podcasts, and his (sometimes polarizing) advice is the catalyst behind some lively lunch table discussions.
BL: If sex is unsatisfying in a relationship, do you feel it’s worth working past?
DS: People in my business (the sex advice business) — not me, but others — sometimes forget that there are wonderful, loving, lasting relationships where sex isn’t a part of the commitment.