I learned of the phenomenon of “good enough” marriage, a term social anthropologists use to describe marriages that were less about finding the perfect match than a suitable candidate whom the family approved of for the couple to embark on adulthood And along with the sociologist Eric Klinenberg, co-author of my new book, I conducted focus groups with hundreds of people across the country and around the world, grilling participants on the most intimate details of how they look for love and why they’ve had trouble finding it.
Eric and I weren’t digging into singledom—we were trying to chip away at the changing state of love.
Whether it’s where I’m eating, where I’m traveling or, God forbid, something I’m buying, like a lot of people in my generation—those in their 20s and 30s—I feel compelled to do a ton of research to make sure I’m getting every option and then making the best choice.
If this mentality pervades our decisionmaking in so many realms, is it also affecting how we choose a romantic partner?
more A recent study of 2000 men has found out that, perhaps unsurprisingly, no man actually rates his partner as perfect.
Most men questioned rated their partner at a 7 out of 10.
But, even with Parship’s help, there is more to finding a partner online than checking out a profile.
It is a matter of making and sustaining contact with people whose profile you find interesting - first of all online, then probably on the phone and finally in person.
People even let me into the private world of their phones to read their romantic texts aloud onstage.
Throw in the fact that people now get married later in life than ever before, turning their early 20s into a relentless hunt for more romantic options than previous generations could have ever imagined, and you have a recipe for romance gone haywire.
In the course of our research, I also discovered something surprising: the winding road from the classified section of yore to Tinder has taken an unexpected turn.
” or trying to decide whether or not you’re really interested in this new person.
more After the break-up of a long relationship, it can be almost frightening to be single again: you’ve relied for so long on another person to meet certain emotional, practical and financial needs.