Children between the ages 5 and 10 were more possessive of their mother than older children.
Leah Klungness, co-author of The Complete Single Mother, states that post-divorce dating can be stressful for children.
Klungness recommends that any new relationship should be exclusive for several months (that is, a serious relationship and not a casual affair) before they are introduced to the children.
Similar research also supports this idea: a gradual approach allows children time to adjust to their parents’ dating (and the new dating partner) at a pace that allows for successful parenting.
Once you feel that engagement or some form of long term committment is upon you, that’s when you begin to develop this new enmeshed family concept. Be sure to have many open conversations along the way about what family means to you and your kids and how your family system might change with another man in your life but it’ll never change the special, deep relationship you have with your kids.
With the US divorce rate still lingering around 50% for first marriages, many children have experienced their parents’ divorce by the time they are eighteen.
They both live with me, although their father lives in the next town and my son often stays with him. When should I tell my kids that I am dating and when should I introduce them to this new person in my life?Introductions should be reserved for when you feel the relationship has potential.Be forwarned that children can develop close attachments quickly so you don’t want your children to develop a meaningful relationship with your man until you know he’s the one and sticking around.Here are some guidelines to consider concerning post-divorced dating and your children: Adjusting to the idea of dating isn’t just for parents. Constance Ahrons, author of The Good Divorce and We’re Still Family and professor emeritus at University Southern California, recently completed a 20 year longitudinal study on children of divorce.She found that the young children she studied worried about how their parent’s dating process was going to affect them.