The last time I saw him, I asked him if we could define our relationship. I decided that everything was probably okay until yesterday when my brother went to a coffee shop and saw him with another girl.
In response, he started talking, but somehow didn’t really say anything, and I got the feeling he was probably seeing someone else. Everything was still so new between us, so I let the subject drop. I’m afraid to bring this up with him because the conversation didn’t go well the last time; he’s obviously not ready to be exclusive with me. My friend, you are an unwitting victim of the new culture that I call “the Tinder Revolution.” Although it’s always been possible to see more than one person at a time, technology – and Tinder, where one swipes right or left to meet or reject another – is just one app of many that has made it much easier for us to encounter, get-to-know, and “communicate” with multiple people simultaneously.
So you hang in there with anxiety and hope while another month goes by.
Finally he tells you that he doesn’t see a marriage potential here.
It was my lightbulb moment: The 5 Guy Guide was born. "But how can I find five guys if I can't even find one? In fact, you may already have found them; some of them may already be in your life.In the era of swipe left culture, even the slightest mention of art, pop culture, or politics in the small bio of a thumbnail on my i Phone would give me the go-ahead to judge their personality. The lid to my pot may have been swiped or blocked long ago. I could have banished him to the Dark i Cloud for a bad selfie (although I still maintain the "selfie standard": a messy room, a filthy carpet or a dirty bathroom mirror is a deal breaker! Sure, I'll spend my hard-earned money on a Coldplay concert, or go to club where I can't hear or talk to you. Because that's where the guy who goes to art galleries is.It bored me and prevented me from connecting with interesting people, and any budding connection stayed on the surface—but I'm cool dammit! I had a long list of what I was looking for in the 100% guy. At the art gallery." That's when it dawned on me that I needed to BE the type of person I wanted to be with.At a minimum, it is a waste of your time, as more likely than not, non-exclusive relationships peter out. It is rude and disrespectful to be subject to such behavior. Dating someone while they’re dating other people is the same thing.At worst, you are setting yourself up for heartbreak, getting attached to a person who refuses to focus on you. While he’s out with you having coffee, his mind could be on the dinner he had with her last night. I know many people think, It’s okay if he’s dating others besides me.