This is not to say that incredibly beautiful women will only go for the model-handsome mind you – look at Christina Hendricks are the one making the first move, they may feel as though they will be in constant competition with other men: ones with better jobs, fatter wallets, movie-star smiles, and abs you could do laundry on.
Your instinctive response may be to play down your looks, and while this can work – there’s a reason why the “beautiful-after-all” trope exists; everyone likes the idea of the librarian who’s secretly model-gorgeous – it’s ultimately putting the responsibility on you.
This isn’t to say that there’s something wrong with being high-energy or being a tomboy, just that there can be a fine line between being energetic and outgoing and being obnoxious. He may mistake an interest in a discussion or debate for being scolded or even talked down to.
He may worry that every conversation is going to be a lecture rather than a sharing of ideas.
Showing genuine interest or honest appreciation in his accomplishments or hobbies can also help him overcome feelings of “What could she possibly see in me?
” And I do mean genuine; shy, geeky guys are perpetually concerned that people are secretly making fun of them.
If a woman keeps hearing from men that she’s “intimidating”, what is she supposed to do – besides start approaching men who have more self-confidence and fewer issues?
Geek culture has a way of blurring the traditional lines of gender roles.
I conducted an informal (and utterly unscientific) poll on the Dr.
Nerd Love Facebook Page, trying to get a handle on what guys mean. So let’s take a look at what men say is intimidating… Men can find beauty intimidating; the more attractive the woman, the more advantages society gives her.
Softening the language, using fewer declarative or imperative statements can make it easier to have those discussions or exchange of views without making a man feel as though he has to defend or justify himself.
Similarly, tone of voice, facial expression and body language can completely transform the tenor of a conversation.