I was his Fallback Girl and I gave him a soft landing out of his old life and helped him avoid whatever feelings he had about his previous relationship.Even though our attitude to relationships and what we consider casual has changed over time and includes foolishness like Friends With Benefits, Booty Calls (read: Dial A Lay) and the ‘option’ to boomerang in and out of an exes life at will, most of us still have this idea that someone who doesn’t want a relationship or just wants you for sex, will shag you once, or even a few times and then disappear, or just won’t bother to be with you.I have a mother, friends, family, and of course many readers who are dating.However, when I hear stories about disappointment, frustration, and insecurity about dates that haven’t worked out, there is a recurring theme: Do you know what this also means?Yeah it’s a pain in the arse, but it’s better than the pain that comes with detracting from yourself or pursuing something past its sell by date.
I’ve been emphasising something over the past few months that I feel it’s time to revisit: Dating is a discovery phase.
It was only when I started to fully acknowledge my discomfort and play the ‘relationship’ back that I realised it was a barely there relationship or as many refer to it, a casual relationship.
Knowing just how hot and cold and inconsistent our ‘relationship’ was, you would be forgiven for wondering how the hell I didn’t realise?
If you have a friend that you are beginning to have feelings for, this can be scary and confusing.
You may feel that you don’t want to jeopardize the friendship but you also don’t want to miss out on a good thing.