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I just don't know if I'll be able to read all those funny, squiggly, complicated lines on paper, showing what a curl is. And in return I'll show him how to check his appearance in the mirror to make sure the tilt of his hat is properly jaunty.

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See, I'm a female, and as a member of the sex that burns the toast, certain concepts elude me, such as astrophysics, and football.After all, we women who cover the NFL have spent years hiding our impatience dealing with average quarterbacks with below-average verbal skills.My list of questions for Cam Newton only begins with what a dig route is, and what is a post.Is there a good fence for stolen goods in Gainesville, Florida? Women have been covering the NFL and asking their amusing little questions ever since 1976, when the Boston Globe made Lesley Visser the beat writer on the Boston Patriots. Either that's how long it takes women to master the basic geometry of a route tree, or the men in his family really think it's one of nature's great secrets how their pants stick to their legs.Back then, an NFL quarterback tried to sign her notepad because he assumed she was an autograph seeker. This is why I propose a useful gender-culture exchange with Cam Newton.