Sometimes there’s just no time, or emotional headspace, for romance.
“There are things that go on in middle age that take so much energy you don’t always feel you have much to give to dating, or even presenting yourself in an upbeat way,” says the Melrose 54-year-old, who took time off from dating to care for her father and then to mourn his death.
CDC research has found that one-fifth of all people living with HIV in the United States are older than 55.
“Particularly after menopause, one element that may traditionally keep women more focused on relationship or behaving in a sexually conservative way relative to men — the risk of pregnancy — is gone,” says Carol Queen, Ph D and staff sexologist for the sex-toy chain and education center Good Vibrations, which has a location in Brookline.
Men “don’t understand the etiquette online, because in so many other ways it’s about instant gratification.
At the same time, in terms of romantic potential, the parents’ nursing home has become, in many ways, the new corner bar, says Barbara Moscowitz, senior social worker at Massachusetts General Hospital’s Geriatric Medicine Unit.
“I have this presumption men are looking for someone with a more complete body,” she says.
“Women have expectations, too, but they’re not physical. That you own your own home and you’re still working.” Photograph by Dina Rudick/Globe Staff; Photographed at The Langham, Boston; Models: Kirsten Hede Brierley and Marc Iannaco/Maggie Inc.; makeup: Chantal Ambroise Some 25 million baby boomers are single — either divorced, widowed, or never married.
Photograph by Dina Rudick/Globe Staff; Photographed at The Langham, Boston; Models: Kirsten Hede Brierley and Marc Iannaco/Maggie Inc.; makeup: Chantal Ambroise Eighty-five percent of male boomers and 61 percent of female boomers report sexual satisfaction is critical to their relationships and quality of life.
Madeleine, who divorced about a decade ago and lives on the North Shore, says her own father died when her mother was 59. “She could have had a whole other life.” That said, she adds, “being with a new person after 35 years, talk about scary.” When Madeleine first started dating her boyfriend, they lived more than an hour’s drive apart.