Being in a committed relationship in which we are sure of our partner’s loyalty and affection can feel boring to someone with ADHD, especially if we are not tuned in to the principles that constitute true love. Feelings come and go all the time, but true love is about loyalty and commitment.That’s because true love is not a feeling, so much as it is a decision. Not all that heady or stimulating, a lot of the time.On the other hand, she had a variety of long term relationships with men who she referred to as her closest friends.
Certainly one does not have to have ADHD to fall into this same pattern, but here’s the part that seems to fit with the ADHD mind set.
By Leslie Rouder, LCSW The great Carl Jung once said that “Loneliness doesn’t come from having no one around you, but from being unable to communicate the things that are important to you.” Although this is a universal truth, in the case of those who have ADHD, communication can certainly be a bigger obstacle to intimacy than to those who do not.
Not only for the person who has ADHD, but for the partner who may feel that they are never being heard.
When one partner in a relationship feels that they are not being heard (regardless of the reason) all kinds of resentment and anger can build.
Often the non-ADHD spouse feels uncared for, or even disrespected because their ADHD partner may seem to zone out, pay them “lip service” or not respond at all.